Dear Bea Arthur,

It’s a shame they forgot to mention you at last night’s Oscars. How could they remember Ed McMahon and not you?? This is a travesty! An upset! There should be riots in the streets chanting lines from Golden Girls! People should be calling themselves Maude for the day! I’m still trying to make my voice as deep as yours, but the whiskey and raw eggs just aren’t cutting it. By the way, I think you should haunt the straight man that planned the Oscars this year.

Sincerely,

People Like Me